FINDING MY VOICE

I had a dream the other day.  It woke me up from my slumber & I felt a strange terror upon my heart.  In it I was sitting in a group of wannabe authors and I couldn’t speak. It was not a physical affliction but rather an emotional one.   A fear that spoke to my insecurities; & it terrified me. I was captured in the crippling thought that if I expressed my truth that maybe I would not be loved.  If I voice my experiences then I might be rejected.  What if I allow people to see deep into my soul & they shut the door of relationship on me?  Would I be able to handle it?  Would I have the inner strength to move on without their approval?

And yet.. . .  I knew that this was the moment that I needed to cross the line; that terrifying line  that separated me from my authentic self and an illusion that I portrayed. Now, I have crossed the line.  Let the rejections or approvals of my expressions, fall where they may.  I will be AUTHENTIC.  I have found my VOICE.

There is a BULLY on the playground!

He is MEAN!  He is RUDE!  He is a LIAR!

“Mommy. What should I do?  I don’t really like him ☹️

BUT he has promised to give ME everything that  I WANT ”  

“My child.  You KNOW  WHAT TO DO!

Haven’t  I always told you that  “BAD COMPANY CORRUPTS GOOD CHARACTER!”

Be BRAVE!   There will be other times for getting what you want.” 

AUTHENTIC.  LORD GIVE ME AUTHENTIC FAITH.  Faith in action.  Faith that may cost me.  Faith that cries out for justice.   Faith that is willing to gaze into the faces of the downtrodden;  that can feel the pain forever in the broken; that embraces with joy the sorrows & the beauty in life.  Give me FAITH that loves deeply, engaging FAITH, ever growing  in understanding.  AUTHENTIC!  FAITH!

 

 

ITINERANT PREACHER
This is a message
to those who profess
to follow the itinerant carpenter
who by his teachings
rocked the world:
IT IS TIME TO RISE UP!
It is time to rise up, &
to remember who we ARE & . . .
Who we are NOT!
It is time to rise up!
Time to reclaim our FAITH!
Time to reclaim our LIGHT!
Time to REMEMBER who we are!
We follow after an EXILE;
After a poor man,
After a teacher.
A man of humble means,
A man of life-changing words!
A man of peace!
A LOVER of the broken,
A HELPER of the needy,
A VOICE against
those lacking in compassion!

REMEMBER who we are!

We are the seekers of TRUTH!
WE are NOT the embracers of LIES!!
We are the healers of the hurt,
We are NOT the mockers!
We the finders of the lost!
We are NOT the scatterers of the marginalized!
We are the embracers of diversity!
We are NOT those who require SAMENESS!
We are the lovers of color & of differences!
We are NOT the protectors from those who do not conform to our ideas!
We do not get to pick & choose
who we reach out to,
Or who it is that we allow into our worlds . . .
BY faith system,
Or political party,
Or skin color,
Or choices in life!
We are those who BUILD UP!

We are NOT the destroyers of men

We are those who include!
We are NOT those who discriminate!

We ARE the lost!

We ARE the broken!
We ARE those who stumble to find our way!

 

We are the LOVERS of the souls . . .
Of ALL of GOD’s HUMANITY!

We are the followers of the God/Man

Who invited us to step into HIS world!
Who summoned us to participate
in bringing HIS kingdom to this earth!
THAT IS WHY we follow HIM!

 

To those who profess

to follow the itinerant carpenter
Who by HIS teachings
Rocked the world!
This is a MESSAGE:
REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!
& REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE NOT!

 

EVERY DAY.
Every day
I literally ask myself,
“Rita, why don’t you just BE quiet!”
You have a GOOD life.
The bubble that you live in is safe!
Eight amazing grandchildren.
Two more on the way!
One is coming into this world this very week.
There are flowers on your patio.
You can view a park,
the mountains from your front sidewalk are amazing!
Your children are your BFF’s.
Why won’t you just be silent?
LISTEN TO YOUR INNER CHILD RITA.
She is afraid-
BE SILENT! Be silent! Don’t cause trouble!
People won’t like you if you speak up!
Then, I return to a memory from high school:
I am a cheerleader,
I am a homecoming princess.
I am happy. My life is good!
And . . . I am afraid to speak up!
I am standing on the upper balcony of my high school
waiting to go into French class.
There are two popular boys on the level below.
They have extended a rope
across the asphalt of the high school campus.
A heavy climbing rope.
A rope with an intention.
One football player is holding one end.
Another is far on the other side.
They have a plan.
They have a scheme.
They are watching for a particular young girl
A girl with significant disabilities!
She is wearing a skirt.
She believes that she is pretty.
She steps over the rope
where it lays inconspicuously on the asphalt.
One foot over. The rope comes up!
Her other foot is on the the other side.
The plan is executed!
She falls to the ground
Skirt flying up!
Knee skinned!
Utterly humiliated!
Isn’t this SOOOOO funny?
I am ANGRY!
SO ANGRY AT THIS ABUSE!
What should I do?
The bell rings.
I go into French Class
And . . . I NEVER say a word
There is too much at stake!
No one will like me if I speak up!
It is one of my greatest regrets!
I am 62 years old now
I am the widow of a wonderful man.
We have 3 married children.
With 3 wonderful spouses.
8 beautiful ‘born, grandchildren
Two on the way!
One (Evie Ryann) is due this very week!
I have been invited to see her birth!
My life is good!
My bubble is safe!
I am watching a Leader
He is MOCKING . . .
the disabled, the elderly,
the immigrants’
mayors & governors of our nation
political opponents,
the press that protects us,
Women,
Congresswomen
Past appointees,
POW’s
Esteemed Scientists,
ETC., ETC. ETC. . . .
Slandering in tweets.
Stirring up conspiracy theories!
Stirring up hatred!
Lying to the people.
Devaluing immigrants,
SPEWing hateful words and tweets
on anyone or everyone
that doesn’t kiss his ring
& ADORE HIM!
AND HERE IS MY ANSWER
TO MY OWN QUESTION FROM MY INNER CHILD:
I am NOT 17 anymore!
Yes! I am still afraid!
People PROBABLY will NOT like me
If I speak up . . .
BUT,
I have grandchildren that depend on me,
they NEED ME to be strong!
to set aside my own fears,
to stop the insanity
to LEAD them into a better,
and more HOLY way!
So . . .
I WILL SPEAK OUT!
no matter my personal cost
I will NEVER tolerate a leader who mocks people!
I will NOT be silent!
There is more than my “popularity” at stake!
So when I ask myself,
“Why Rita?
Why will you NOT stay silent?
It it so much safer to stay out of the fray!”
THIS IS MY ANSWER!